The Lions are favored...

By a field goal.

My bold predictions:

Stephen Jackson scores his first, second and third touchdowns of the season.

Kevin Smith has 100 yards and/or directs another cult classic.

Matthew Stafford does not work off the baby fat.

Terrif-EYE-ing

LOL!

No Line Yet

So I can't bet on the Lions winning, only them covering the spread (which is 13.5 points). I'll check on it again tomorrow and hopefully I'll be able to keep my streak alive. In the meantime, check out this action. I had no idea these things were made public until this year and believe me you, they're a lot more fun to read and take up a lot more time than reading the blurbs your fantasy football leagues gives you.

Powers of Dedunchion

There was a line on the Detroit Lions game against the Steelers. Those betting folks must know something that ESPN isn't reporting... that they are going to lose either way. But if'n they don't, I win 42.50. At this point of the season, the most exciting thing for me is waiting to see what the odds are when they play the Rams.

We may have lost the battle, but the Stafford is far from over

Or day-to-day from over. I'll admit it, I thought this guy was a chud coming into the season. I thought they should have drafted somebody on the defensive side of the ball. I don't remember who exactly, the draft was many moons ago and I'm only marginally interested in the draft to begin with. I just like the highlight clip packages they put together of each pick.
But I firmly believe this year, just as last year, the Lions best chance to win isn't who starts which games, it's who can start double digit games. Last year they were awful, but arguably the best 0-16 team ever (arguably the only 0-16 team ever). If the same dude were under center for each game, they would've pulled out one of 16 games at least. Of this I can be certain because there is no possible way to prove me wrong, unless you own a DeLorean with the flux capacitor option. So I jumped on the Stafford bandwagon. If brotor broat starts even 13 games, I'm confident they win 2 (whoa they're half way there, whoa living on a prayer and the likelihood of them beating the Rams). Ignoring chudnicity, if he starts the entire season, he's gotta win a couple, right? It's simple maths. So I started feeling good about the season, which was amplified by them heading into a 21-21 tie at halftime with Da Bears. And then the thinkable happened. The Bears D went Terminator 2 on him.
Unless dudesy can start this week, the Leos are staring down a 1-15 season because, the way I see this playing out, they'll find a way to lose to the Rams. Unless Drew Stanton is healthy. If he starts, they win 1 million games this season. Also, they will win next week, which is why I'm gonna bet on them.

PS Image is from www.truckblog.com.

Da Bears

So the Lions are nine and a half point underdogs against the Bears this Sunday, which will translate to me winning thirty bucks, including the 10 I bet. Why am I so confident? I'm not, I just really want to say "I told you so" if they do win. Also, I think Rod Marinelli deserves to see the Lions win in person one more time.

A Horse with No Name

9.29.09 PLAYLIST

Wakefield Brothers- Chokin'

Clutch- Minotaur

LOA- Troubles

The Lasting Dose- Crowbar

Mirrors- Authors

Titan- The Glory of the Fleet

Down- Pillars of Eternity

Harvey Milk- Motown

Kylesa- Said and Done

Slaughterstrike- Into the Slaughter

Vilipend- In Desperation We Reach

Witch- Psychotic Rock

The Melvins- The Kicking Machine

Lullabye Arkestra- Floating Graveyards

Grady- Hammer in My Hand

Heaven and Hell- Breaking into Heaven

Church of Misery- Blood Sucking Freaks

Johnnie Taylor- Testify (I Wonna)

Eddie Floyd- Soul Street

Dunch in a Name

If my name were Harry Bahls, I'd either change it or seek an occupation that wouldn't require anyone to learn my name, let alone publish it. That being said, Mr. 85389, I admire your moxy. In all fairness though, he's actually tied for 63405th and he has two more patents to his name than I ever will.

Oh, and the dude in the picture isn't H.J. Bahls, but rather Richard Bahls (left, no known relation), but I found it on a page with a picture of Ford Field, so that seemed to tie everything together pretty nice-like.

Dunch Up. Shoot In. Let the Beatings Begin.

$10 can win you $21.50 if the Lions manage to beat the Skins this weekend. The Lions were 6.5 point underdogs to begin the week, but the margin has decreased to a mere six points. They must have had some good practices.

The Flying Dunchman's Five Rudest Riffs

This idea has been dunching in and out of my mind for a while, but I figure it's high time to share it with the three or four people who read this blog, and maybe also get some reader participation. So dunch down and dunch in, hard.

Without any further finger-jawing, here is my list of riffs that aren't just not going to hold the door for you, they are going to stare you down while it closes.

#5 Mother Puncher - Mastodon

This song actually has two amazing riffs: the first one and the second one.

#4 Five Minutes Alone - Pantera

If you made a play list of songs to curb stomp somebody to in slow motion, it would just be this song ten times. That's actually probably why it's not higher on my list; it's far beyond rude. It's goddamn brutal, borderline psychopathic and it makes me more than a little uncomfortable. I bet Jesus makes Dimer play this all the time.

#3 Caught in a Mosh - Anthrax

Honestly, you could pretty much replace this one with about anything else from Anthrax's library, I just like the bass line in this one the most. Before Scott Ian was a bald dude with an ostentatious goatee saying things on VH1, he was a dude with hair and an ostentatious goatee that wrote some killer licks with Dan Spitz. Eventually, Spitz got bored with guitars and decided to fix watches.

Seriously.

#2 A National Acrobat - Black Sabbath

Tony Iommi wrote riffs like only a man who lost parts of his digits in an industrial accident could - very rudely. There are a ton of other Sabbath songs with flat out mean riffs, this one just has that little hook at the end that forces your lips to curl uncontrollably into a ish-eating smirk.

#1 Turk - High on Fire

You gotta wait about 50 seconds for this one, but it is totally worth it. Heck, I waited about 23 years for it and it was totally worth it. I wondered if Matt Pike realized what he had done, and you can see the answer for yourself here at 1:28 in.

There you have it. In conclusion, I'd like to give a shout out to E. Reinkenstein, a man so metal he pisses electrons, and dedicate my honorable mention to him. Owner of an honorable mention, much better than an owner of a dishonorable discharge.

Detroit Dunch City

In the spirit of 95% of Matt Millen's draft picks, I have decided to bet on the Lions each week. I mean on them winning. Not much, but enough to show I care. I figure $10 a week is most likely going to be a $140 dollar commitment, but hell, should they actually win (and if that win is against somebody that's not the St. Louis Rams), it could be at lot less. I might even break even in the long run and should that happen, I'm going streaking through the Wendy's drive-through. At any rate, I'm gonna keep it simple and put the money on them winning, not beating the spread or giving up fewer than 4 touchdowns a game or any of that pansy ass nancy business. They will win, dammit.

Eventually.

Dunchshine Kids

Burn those Satanic back issues of Spawn. SOONER!

Jefferson Stardunch

When the wrecking balls have all been ridden through the guitars, only the drummers remain.

We talking about breakfast. Not a game.

This happens every morning around 6 AM.

Indunchtrial Snacks

Extree, extree, dunch all about it!

Dunchwrap Supreme

"Look at that, honey!"
"You're an ass."
"HAIL HAIL TO MICHIGAN!"
"I think of Mickey Rooney when we make love."

Hello world

Shall we do dunch?